Close and healthy intimacy is key for any successful relationship. While great communication, emotional connection, and trust are all foundations of romance, physical intimacy also plays an important role in keeping partners close. Recently, more couples have opened up to the idea of introducing toys into their bedroom to improve their connection. Sex toys are no longer seen as taboo but as a fun way to deepen intimacy with your partner.
The thought of bringing toys into the bedroom can be intimidating for many couples. Shared intimacy with toys can allow you and your partner to feel even closer. Exploring toys together can increase trust, pleasure, and communication for you and bae. Here is your ultimate guide to using toys to improve intimacy.
Navigating Intimacy
Before we jump into how toys can improve your intimacy with your partner, let’s talk about what intimacy actually is.
Intimacy is more than just physical pleasure with your partner. Emotional vulnerability, open communication, shared exploration, and mutual satisfaction are all aspects of intimacy.
It’s normal for things to become routine with your partner. Long work weeks, family obligations, life stress can take away from the honeymoon phase you once shared with your partner. It doesn’t mean you aren’t attracted to your partner.
Introducing toys can help ease the routine you may fall into and allow you to be playful with each other. Rather than worrying about performance or what your partner expects from you, you both may feel more curious to learn and explore together.
When you both learn and experience new things together you are building shared experiences that will improve your emotional and physical connection.
Improving Communication
Sex toys can help improve communication with your partner.
Many people struggle to verbally communicate what they like and don’t like in the bedroom. Talking about your desires, boundaries, or fantasies can make you feel very vulnerable. Toys can open the door to deeper conversations about pleasure.
Does this feel good?
What pace do you like?
What do you want to try?
Asking your partner questions about pleasure can help you understand each other better. Improving your communication will most likely improve your intimacy with your partner.
Many sex therapists even say that couples who learn how to openly talk about their sexual needs with each other have stronger emotional connections.
Remember that toys should always be used to enhance your connection, not replace it.
Less Pressure To Perform
Sexual intercourse can come with a lot of pressure. Society has warped the way we look at sex and many fall into thinking there is a wrong or right way to perform.
Sex toys can help relieve that pressure you may feel to please your partner.
Whether it be worrying about lasting long enough or helping your partner reach orgasm, toys can shift that focus. There are plenty of toys like vibrators that can assist both you and your partner in exploring pleasure together.
Building comfort with toys can allow you and your partner to focus less on expectations and more on the enjoyment of each other’s company. When you feel less pressure, you will build more confidence which will cause you to feel more intimate with your partner.
Increased Pleasure
Did you know that many women take couples to reach orgasm? Toys can help improve satisfaction for both you and your partner.
Whether it be a toy that enhances clitoral stimulation during sex or a toy that you can both use during sex. Toys can help improve pleasure for you both.
When you and your partner feel satisfied during intercourse you will begin to view intimacy less as a chore and more as a fun, bonding experience.
You’ll also find that toys don’t take the place of sex. Instead, they allow you and your partner to switch things up and stimulate other areas of the body you may not have known enjoyed stimulation.
Explore Together
The biggest downfall of being in a long-term relationship is becoming too comfortable. Once you fall into a routine with your partner, intimacy can lose its spark of exploration.
Toys can help you explore different areas with your partner.
Exploring with toys can feel as exciting as when you first started dating. Both of you exploring what your partner likes builds trust between each other.
You may learn:
- New erogenous zones
- What type of stimulation you both enjoy
- How comfortable you are with different sensations
Learning and exploring together with toys allow you both to be vulnerable with each other. Building this trust will allow you to feel closer with your partner.
Libido Differences
Sex drives don’t always match up throughout your relationship. Stress at work, health issues, children, or even emotions can affect your sexual desire.
Libido differences are normal and sex toys can help you both navigate these differences.
If your partner has a higher sex drive than you, toys can help them feel satisfied while you relax. If you and your partner both are ready to get physical but one of you isn’t as into it as the other, toys can help stimulate that interest.
As with anything relating to sex, communication and mutuality is key. You and your partner should always feel comfortable voicing concerns when intimacy arises.
Sex toys are nothing to be used individually, they should always be something you both are comfortable with and want to use.
Build Trust
Sharing new fantasies or preferences can be very vulnerable. Trusting your partner with your fantasies allows you to be open with one another.
Trust is a great way to build intimacy with your partner.
Building trust by exploring toys with your partner allows you to communicate better. You learn to respect boundaries and really tune into your partner’s wants and needs.
Trust allows you and your partner to feel safe being vulnerable with one another. Intimacy with your partner should not only be about physical pleasure but emotional pleasure as well.
After A Busy Time
Life is going to happen. Whether it be moving into a new home, having children, or just a stressful week at work. Intimacy will fluctuate during times like these.
Once you want to feel close with your partner again, being playful and exploring with toys can help you rebuild that intimacy.
After kids, couples often loose the desire to be intimate because they simply don’t have the time. Sex toys can allow you and your partner to bring intimacy back into your routine.
Viewing sex as a fun and relaxing time with your significant other can help you reconnect.
Finding Toys For You Both
If your partner and you are interested in using toys, start simple.
Buy toys that are made for couples. Most toys made for couples are beginner friendly and will aid in enhancing pleasure for both you and your partner.
Communication is going to be the most important thing when buying toys for the first time.
Talk with your partner about what they may want to try. Here are some tips to get you started:
- Buy beginner friendly toys.
- Opt for body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone.
- Buy toys that are made for couples.
- Don’t rush, take your time and explore together.
Every couple is different and have different comfort levels. There is no right or wrong way to introduce toys into your relationship.
The key is to do what will make you and your partner comfortable.
Misconceptions
There are still some common myths about sex toys.
Toy’s Don’t Replace Your Partner
Many fear that toys will replace their partner during intimacy. Toys are used to enhance you and your partners time together, not take the place of them.
Couples Only Use Toys When There Is A Problem
Another sexual myth is that only couples with problems in their relationship use toys. Healthy and happy couples use toys to spice things up.
Helps You Discover Your Own Body
Not only can toys help you both discover each others bodies but your body as well. Once you understand what you like, you can better communicate that with your partner.
Research and communicating about toys can help you avoid believing these myths.
Creating A Healthy Relationship With Toys
Remember to keep an open mind and communicate with your partner. No one should feel pressured to try something that they are uncomfortable with.
As long as toys are introduced with curiosity, trust, and communication they can enhance your relationship.
When you and your partner view intimacy as a journey that you both are experiencing together you will have a stronger connection.
Tools Versus Fulfillment
At the end of the day, toys are simply that toys. They shouldn’t be the thing that your relationship relies on to feel satisfied.
If you and your partner understand that toys are there to enhance your intimate experiences you will have a healthier relationship with them.
Conclusion
Intimacy will change as you and your partner change. Learning new things and experiencing new pleasure with your significant other is healthy.
Sex toys are a great and fun way to improve intimacy as long as you and your partner are comfortable with them. Toys can help relieve performance, allow you to explore, improve communication, and much more.
Sharing intimacy with your partner allows you to feel closer emotionally and physically.
Trust, communication, and curiosity are key when it comes to intimacy. Learning something new with your partner can bring you closer than you have ever been.
