Sex doesn’t end with age, in fact, quite the opposite. Many seniors are looking to play with more pleasure, experience new things, and connect more deeply than ever. One of the most simple and empowering ways to do this is with sex toys. Whether you are single, in a long-term relationship, or somewhere in between, sex toys can be useful and pleasurable tools to keep intimacy strong and sex life healthy.
Sex After 60
Our bodies change with age. Hormonal changes, medical conditions, and side effects from medication may make it take us longer to get in the mood or get off. Erectile dysfunction and vaginal dryness are both more common in older adults, and changes in sexual response can lead to feelings of frustration, miscommunication, or loss around sex.
But sexual desire does not end with age. Many seniors actually report a maintained or even heightened interest in sex and intimacy now that the stresses of a career, children, or a busy life are out of the way. What is key is learning to adapt to your body’s changing needs and discovering new ways to play. This is where sex toys can help.
Sexual satisfaction in your 60s, 70s, 80s and beyond is not about re-creating the fiery passion of your 20s. It is about meeting your changing body where it is, taking care of its new needs and still feeling loved, desired, and confident. Approaching this stage of life with compassion and acceptance often leads to the most satisfying sex of your life.
Dispelling the Myths
Sex toys have historically been seen as unseemly or too “extreme” for older adults. But this is thankfully changing. Sex toys are no longer associated with taboo or the realm of the young or adventurous. They are understood as a wellness practice—on par with wearing glasses or getting a quality mattress.
In media, the medical community, and even in mainstream sex toy marketing, seniors are more visible than ever. Older adults are no longer erased from the conversation about pleasure, sexual wellness, and their needs and desires.
Seniors who experience mobility issues, arthritis, or other physical ailments may especially appreciate the help sex toys can provide. Toys can make pleasure more accessible, lessen the pressure to perform, allow for more creative exploration with a partner and help maintain a positive relationship to one’s own body and sexuality.
Types of Toys Great for Seniors
Seniors should look for toys that are easy to use, body-safe, and effective at providing pleasure without requiring much force or manual dexterity. Luckily, sex toys today come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and functions and have something for just about everyone.
Vibrators
Vibrators of all kinds are an excellent choice for older adults. Women may find vibrators help increase blood flow, offer more clitoral stimulation, and help with arousal overall—especially if they have been affected by menopause and its associated changes in lubrication or sensitivity. Vibrating prostate massagers or perineum stimulators can be especially helpful for men who want to try hands-free intense orgasms.
Handheld wand vibrators with big heads and simple on/off buttons tend to be the easiest for seniors to use. Wand vibrators are also versatile and can be used for external and internal stimulation. Ergonomic handles also help those who have limited mobility or arthritic pain.
Lubrication
While not technically a “toy,” lubrication is a must-have for most seniors. Invest in a good water-based or silicone-based lube to ease friction and enhance pleasure. Some even come with ingredients that can increase sensitivity and stimulation.
Moisture is more important as we age. For women who experience vaginal dryness, lube is not just helpful. It is essential. Men also find lubricants helpful for penetration and as an aid to making manual or toy-based stimulation feel more intense.
Couples Toys
Remote-controlled vibrators, vibrating rings, or other wearable toys allow you to stimulate each other during intercourse or partnered play. They are excellent options for long-distance couples or seniors in care facilities who might still want to feel intimate without physical contact. With many app controlled toys, couples can play together from anywhere.
Masturbation Sleeves and Suction Toys
Men with ED or a loss of sensation may especially enjoy these toys. They are great for simulating oral or vaginal sex and come in many different textures or modes to offer variety.
Suction toys also help many women in achieving orgasms when their clitoral sensitivity has waned. The suction toys mimic sucking and come in a variety of different intensities.
Anal and Prostate Toys
Anal toys are for everyone, not just the young. Prostate stimulation is pleasurable and can offer new sensations. Slim and beginner-friendly curved toys with soft silicone and gentle vibration settings are some of the best options for seniors to explore prostate stimulation.
Prostate stimulation can help increase the intensity of orgasms, improve circulation, and help you become more aware of your body.
Rediscovering Intimacy in Long-Term Relationships
Long-term relationships, whether they are 10 or 50 years, can also greatly benefit from the addition of sex toys. Couples who have been together for decades can fall into a sexual routine or not have sex at all. Toys are a great way to break up that routine, create new channels of communication about pleasure and discover new areas of interest.
Start by trying a toy or two. You might even make a date night out of exploring a new toy together, watching some demonstrations, or reading customer reviews online to decide what you want to try first. Choose a toy that both of you are interested in and set aside time and space to play with it and explore each other without pressure to “perform.”
Sex toys are a great way to rekindle not only physical intimacy but emotional connection as well. Opening up and being vulnerable with your partner about your bodies and desires, can not only lead to more sexual pleasure but a stronger bond and deeper trust.
Rediscovering intimacy can also mean rediscovering your partner’s body in new ways. As we age, we may experience sensitivity in different areas or notice that certain parts no longer feel as good. Toys can help guide this process, turning it into an exciting exploration rather than a cause for stress.
Solo Play and Reconnecting with Yourself
Sex toys are also great tools for single seniors to rediscover pleasure in solo play. Masturbation is healthy and normal at any age, and it has many benefits for reducing stress, improving mood and sleep and staying sexually healthy.
Playing with a toy can help you reconnect to what your body enjoys now, which may change over time. You may find that stimulation you used to respond well to no longer does or that new sensations feel even better than you thought they would. Becoming more self-aware is an excellent way to better enjoy sex, with yourself or a future partner.
Solo play is also an opportunity for seniors to own their sexuality in a way that feels good to them. Self-pleasure can be a source of empowerment, self-care, even meditation, and a path to becoming more at peace with your desires and needs.
The Concerns Around Sex Toys and Age
A common concern is being “wrong” or choosing the wrong type of toy. There is no right or wrong way to use a sex toy. Trust yourself and choose something that feels good. If limited dexterity is a concern, there are toys with bigger handles or ergonomic designs to help. If noise or discretion is a concern, there are whisper-quiet motors and compact toys.
Another concern around sex toys and age is embarrassment or shame. Some seniors feel ashamed about ordering sex toys or discussing them with partners or family. But with the abundance of online sex toy retailers, you can shop discreetly from home. Most online retailers offer customer reviews, video tutorials, and chat support to answer any questions you might have without judgment.
Sex toys can also feel out of budget for some people. But there are many great budget-friendly options out there that are still made from body-safe materials and have excellent performance and safety ratings. The best toys are usually made from body-safe silicone and ABS plastic. Avoid toys that are labeled as being made from jelly or that have unknown materials listed on the packaging.
Sex Toys and Your Doctor
If you have medical conditions, it is always a good idea to check in with your doctor to be sure they are on board with your new toys and that you are using something that is safe for your situation. Most doctors are on your side when it comes to sexual expression and can offer sound advice on what to look for and how to avoid straining sensitive areas or working around implants and other medical devices or medications.
If you have any concerns, do not be afraid to discuss them with your doctor. Medical professionals are increasingly recognizing sexual wellness as an important part of your health, so ask any questions you might have, be candid about what you are trying, and find a doctor that supports your needs.
Tips for Trying Sex Toys for the First Time
For those who are new to sex toys, it is important to start slow and to be curious. You do not have to have intercourse with a toy right away, in fact, you can play solo first and get used to the sensations, the controls, and learn to understand what you enjoy most before adding them into partnered sex.
A simple vibrator or a textured masturbation sleeve are good places to start. Look for a toy with simple controls and easy charging options. Read all instructions and be sure to clean your toy before and after each use and store it in a clean container or bag to keep dust off. Be kind to yourself and know that every sex toy beginner feels like they are doing something “wrong” or are “bad at sex” the first time. This is not true. The goal is to have fun and feel pleasure.
Enjoying Pleasure Without Shame
Seniors can enjoy sex and pleasure without shame or stigma. Sex toys are wonderful tools that can help you play more, explore new avenues of pleasure, and connect more deeply with yourself and a partner. Pleasure is a right we have for all our lives, not something to give up.
Sexual wellness is an important part of overall health and well-being. And with the right sex toys, a little curiosity, and a sense of adventure, you may just find your best sex is still ahead of you. Own your body, your experience, and your desire—you deserve it.
