Shopping for your first (or next) sex toy can be both exciting and daunting. With endless options in terms of shape, size, material, and purpose, it’s easy to feel lost. This guide will help you filter the noise and find a body-safe, body-affirming sex toy that feels good for your body, your goals, and your budget. Whether shopping by yourself or with a partner, we’ve got you covered.
Table of Contents
Start by Asking Yourself What You Want
Before you start scrolling through product pages, take a few minutes to clarify your goal for buying a toy in the first place.
Do you want external clitoral stimulation?
G-spot or prostate play?
Solo toys or toys for partner play?
Discreet/compact/quiet? (Great for beginners or those with limited space)
Anal play?
The answers to these questions will narrow down the sex toy category that’s right for you.
Know the 5 Main Toy Categories
The human body is amazing in its diversity, and with so many body types and parts come many different kinds of sex toys. To help with product discovery, let’s talk about the most popular sex toy types and what they’re generally used for.
- Vibrators (bullet vibrators, wand massagers, G-spot vibrators, mini vibes, etc.)
- Dildos (strap-ons, flappers, yuris, keens, etc.)
- Prostate Massagers
- Anal Plugs/Beavers/Buttplugs
- Couples’ Toys (especially for shared external stimulation or intercourse)
Knowing the category can help you better understand the intended use of a toy. For example, a wand massager would be mismatched if you were expecting something for clitoral stimulation.
Choose Toys with Body-Safe Materials
Toy materials aren’t just a matter of aesthetics or firmness (although that matters too). Body-safe materials can be safely used on or in your body without causing harm.
Body-safe materials are non-porous, non-toxic, and non-penetrating. Some of the most common body-safe materials are:
- Medical-grade silicone
- ABS plastic
- Tempered borosilicate glass
- Stainless steel
The materials to avoid are jelly rubber, porous materials, and anything marked as phthalate-free or PVC.
Size and Shape Matter
It’s a common misconception that bigger is always better. For beginners and even for experienced players, the size and shape of a sex toy matter a lot. Some questions to ask yourself:
Will you be using the toy anally or for internal stimulation?
If so, does it have a flared base to prevent it from being lost inside you?
Does the size of the toy feel intimidating, or manageable for you?
Is the shape tapered or bulbous for easy insertion?
If external stimulation is desired, does it have an ergonomic shape or curves toward your clitoris, perineum, etc. ?
Match the Intended Power and Vibration Pattern
Preferences for vibration patterns and intensity vary from person to person. Some people love rumbly vibrations, others like gentle or buzzy vibrations. Entry-level vibrators will usually have 1–3 speeds, while higher-end vibrators allow you to create your own vibration patterns and intensity.
Rechargeable toys tend to be more powerful than battery-operated toys, and can also be more eco-friendly. On the other hand, battery toys can be cheaper and more portable.
Waterproof Level and Noise Level
Do you have the goal of using your sex toy in the bath or shower? If so, look for products labeled as fully waterproof (IPX7 or above), not just splash-proof or water-resistant.
Noise can also be a factor, especially if you want to keep your toy activities private. Some toys are whisper quiet, while others may sound like an electric toothbrush.
Read Verified Reviews and Feedback
It’s easy to gloss over this step, but user reviews are goldmines of real-world feedback for almost every product. Verified reviews can tell you:
Is a toy actually beginner-friendly?
How long do the batteries last?
Are the vibrations strong enough?
How easy is the toy to clean?
Look for reviews that mention the same points positively or negatively to verify a trend. It’s a good sign if 50 people all say the same thing about a product.
Solo or Partner Play?
This one is a little more subjective, as a lot of toys can be used during intercourse or solo play depending on the situation. In general, toys that are worn for intercourse (remote-controlled cock rings, couples’ toys) will not have a strong enough motor for solo play, and toys for solo play are optimized for hands-free pleasure.
Remote-controlled toys and app-enabled toys also offer fun possibilities for partner play, both long-distance and in-person.
Set a Budget but Don’t Cheap Out
Buying a sex toy should be a pleasure-forward, positive experience. If you have a specific price range in mind, set a maximum budget but try not to go for the absolute cheapest option.
Lower-priced toys often have sub-par motors, use materials that are harder to clean or store, and have weak or short-lived batteries. You don’t need to spend $200 on a vibrator, but avoid toys with no warranty, poor safety testing, or unverified materials.
Final Thoughts
In the end, the right toy is the one that works for your body, your goals, and your budget. Start small, stay curious, and always look for body-safe materials and a realistic vibration motor. Remember, sexual wellness is a journey, not a destination. Take your time and enjoy the experience.
